are you sleeping? "no, i'm falling apart"

Cleaning Machine

12:18 p.m. - August 28, 2006
Cleaning Machine
Spending an entire day vegging seems to be an excellent way to get me motivated to work. Saturday we literally played online games all day long, only stopping to eat. Then in the evening, we took a break...to go to my Mom-in-law's house to watch T.V. We don't have T.V. here, choosing instead to have multiple online games to pass the time. These are Massive Multi-Player games, not Bejeweled or Solitaire. We play Everquest2 and my Hubby plays World of Warcraft or WOW as the gamers call it, and several others. In case any of you out there are familiar with these games. So anyway, when we want to watch T.V. we go to her house when she's out of town or something and veg out all day. Not the most productive of days, but on Sunday, things were different. We spent about half the day watching movies, then I felt inspired to clean out my fridge and defrost the freezer. This is something I have been meaning to do for weeks. I just never felt particularly inspired. Well after sitting on my butt for a day and a half, I felt like a slob and my butt hurt, so I knew it was time to get moving. After working on the fridge, I felt inpired to do some laundry. Then as I was walking through the living room, I decided the floor needed vacuuming. I might have ended up cleaning the bathroom or something else just as energy consuming, but it was 9pm, time to go watch a show we had been waiting for. For me housework is like resting from too much relaxing. I know...strange. 0 comments so far

2:01 p.m. - August 16, 2006
Feeding the Duckies
Last weekend we went to a little town nearby to feed the ducks. This was Nat's first experience with ducks. He was interested at first, then scared when they got too close. Here's the pics.

We even saw a turtle!

Then we went into town and had milkshakes at an old fashioned ice cream shop. Real milkshakes made out of ice cream! YUM!

Nat wouldn't leave us alone, so he had some of Daddy's...

and some of Mommy's!

We had a fun day.
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9:57 a.m. - August 16, 2006
eggs and hashbrowns
I'm Blessed! My hubby has made me and Nat breakfast for the past week or more. Most mornings anyway. He gets up way earlier than me, so he gets the rugrat up and starts making breakfast for everyone. Then he comes and wakes me up. The rugrat is already changed and fed and sometimes even dressed! You gotta love him for that. And I do. 0 comments so far

1:52 p.m. - August 14, 2006
Babbling Brook
I am doing better with this thing than I ever did with a real diary. Despite the fact that in my old diaries all I ever wrote about were the guys I liked at any given moment, I felt like I had more to talk about all the time. At least I must have had a lot to talk about, since I spent many waking hours on the phone. Now that my days seem to be reruns, except for my ever changing and growing son, I find myself updating this diary more often. If it wasn't for the ability to do a picture montage every so often, this might not be so. I am sure there is more to talk about and share with the world, it just doesn't come to mind once I am faced with a blank white entry box and a blinking cursor. I swear that cursor mocks me. It says " Come on you loser, just try and think of something interesting and witty to say! I dare you!" Because, let's face it, I do feel as though I need to be interesting for those precious few who choose to stay updated on my life. It's a blessing and a curse. The chance to have my occasional outbursts of wittyness heard by the masses. My 15 minutes of (pretend) fame. Yet, occompanied by the (imagined of course) pressure to perform.

I think I just need more friends. It's hard to make friends like I did in those days though. People are infinitely more guarded with their true thoughts and feelings. It makes it extremely hard to get to know someone on a personal and intimate basis. I miss those days of talking and chatting about everything and nothing. Especially since I only had to hold up half of the conversation. Now I feel like when I meet someone and try to get to know them, the conversation is very unbalanced. There I am sharing pieces of myself, putting myself out there, hoping to be accepted, and they are nodding and smiling and being polite but that's where it ends. I am left feeling raw and vulnerable, and very much like I said too much. I guess I am too open for adulthood. I havn't closed myself off like the rest of them yet. But every time that happens I feel like the wall gets built a little higher, a little thicker. I really don't want to end up like them. I like me the way I am: open, casual, brutally honest, and unguarded. In fact, that's how I got to know my husband before we were even dating. We knew every single dirty detail of each others past personal lives before we even went out. But that's another story. I just wish I could meet someone else like me and not have them move away like all the rest of my friends.

Okay, that's the end of my pity party. Interesting how things like that get started. Right out of nowhere. It's exactly why you are told to just start writing when you think you are at a writer's block. Thoughts flow into one another and before you know it you can't type or write as fast as you are thinking. Pretty amazing thing really. {^_^} TaTa for now. 0 comments so far

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